A Breed with a Rather Suspicious Past
Mike is a lurcher—a fancy name for a dog that’s like a greyhound but isn’t on the VIP list! These honest lurchers have a history as twisty as they are fast. With their roots dug deep in Britain’s countryside, for centuries they’ve been the go-to poaching pros, sneaking around like ninjas, making sure the dinner table was never empty. The name “Lurcher” probably comes from “lurk”—because these guys could sneak up on a shadow! Back in the day, owning a Lurcher was common among working-class families; after all, who wouldn’t want a dog that looks like it’s always on a secret mission? You can read more about them here: Lurchers.
A Wolfhound in a Shrink-Wrapped Package
This is what Mike is. In reality, he perfectly resembles a severely downsized Wolfhound! Those in the know gaze at him in disbelief, doing double-takes like they’ve just spotted a unicorn (they probably just did).
The Art of Looking Utterly Disappointed
Besides his top-tier “secret mission” look, he’s also mastered the art of the ultimate letdown expression. Time to chill? Disappointed. Just chowed down on a feast fit for a king? Disappointed. Awoke from a beauty nap? You guessed it—utterly disappointed. Thankfully, his human is secure in their self-esteem, because Mike makes a point of guilt-tripping just about everyone he encounters.
The Screeching: A Special Form of Psychological Warfare
When looks fail to do the trick, Mike, with all the grace of a newborn giraffe, unfolds his long legs from whatever pretzel shape they were stuck in, ambles over, and begins following you around the house while screeching through his teeth, on a low tone like a rusty hinge auditioning for a horror movie. Honestly! And the screech goes on for ages. It goes on and on and on until your hair turns white (which is not taking very long, all things considered) or until you give up.
Of course, you must play the guessing game to figure out what he’s after, whether it’s scaring a sparrow off a fencepost 50 meters away or playing Sherlock Holmes to unearth a tiny stick that Ruby has stashed under her bed. Meanwhile, as you plead with all your deities for a spark of intuition, he continues to screech and gaze at you with his big, wide, innocent eyes.
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